Thursday, February 4, 2010
Seven Deadly sins: Wrath
Many of my minions believe that this is the sin to which I succumb the most. I however beg to differ.
The amount of rage that I feel when faced with my minions incompetence vastly outweighs the amount of rage that is inflicted upon them and their surroundings.
Ergo, I am not a wrathful Overlord, rather very kind and benevolent.
You are no doubt already aware of my kindly nature as I have provided pillow minions on which you can sit. Ignore the groaning, you are not really fat, the minion just needs to work a bit on his core strength. I hear pilates is good for that.
I think that to allow yourself to fall victim to your wrathful desires is entirely unproductive. A cold calculated plan which increases the strength of your iron grip on an individual, group, or society is much better for all.
For example.
One day I was riding my golden chariot through the local mall, several near mindless shoppers wandered into my path and caused my chariot to jump a little. I of course checked that there was no damage but I was dismayed to see that there was a blood splatter on one of the wheel rims.
Obviously I would have taken the money to clean the wheel from the idiot who had failed to remove herself from my path but she had succumbed to the pressure of a half ton chariot chassis dragging her across 200 metres of tiled floor.
I controlled my temper and only slew half a dozen onlookers with my ray gun before performing an admirable removal of self via stage right.
I waited until the day of the after xmas sales and just as all the peons flooded in the doors to buy a bargain I launched fifteen tactical nuclear missles at it. Destroying everything and everyone within a five mile radius. I then had a Zepplin float over and drop a flyers advertising for my "Become a minion" program. Delightful touch wouldn't you say?
Anyway, ta ta. I'll be in touch.
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