Thursday, February 4, 2010

Seven Deadly sins: Gluttony

Regrettably my great intellect somewhat overshadows my physical proportions and menace.
At half a foot tall and being a plush toy I am admittedly not the most scary Overlord in existence.
However; my thought processes require a huge amount of energy and one way to get that energy, (besides the use of a a soul distilling machine) is through the consumption of huge amounts of food.

My cringing minions sometimes ask me.
"Oh great Vorgal, how do you stay so svelte?"

After I whip them liberally for being so casual with me I etch my response into their hides with my stylus.

Oh, you wanted to know what my response is? Well you can't have it. Go to Jenny Craig you fatties, Vorgal does not share his secrets. Suffice to say that I have a very carefully moderated lifestyle.

But I do like food. Taco's Nacho's Raw potato, roasted meats. Vegetable soups and other foods. All these help me to be the unparralelled genius I am today.

One day as I was supping on a bowl of vegetable soup a jester minion remarked.
"Oh Lord Vorgal, you are what you eat!"

I had him flayed, drawn and quarted immediately of course but his words struck truth in the same way my boiling soup had struck him in the face.

Maybe the best food to eat is what you want to be.

Starting from next week I am only eating world leaders.

I only hope there is enough for a meal.

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