Greetings snivelling subjects, it is I your benevolent and mighty leader. (PR team said to put the first part in.)
There is a lot of talk about this thing called terrorism, I Vorgal, in my infinite wisdom have decided to share my thoughts on this subject with you, the stupid seething masses.
Terrorism is a problem afflicting the world, in places all over the globe violence stops people from undertaking their daily worship of yours truly because they are afraid to go to the local ziggurat/pyramid/monolithic statue of me.
This presents a problem
The way I see it the ability to instigate terrorism is directly linked to the ability for self determination. People choose to hurt others, ergo it seems to me that the best way to combat terrorism is to take away all forms of choice. If this is done the only thing remaining is peace.
Apparently you all want this thing.
Peace will not of course be good for my small arms business, however, I have also cornered the market in flowers, mung beans and currently illegal marijuana smoking devices.
As a result, I Vorgal am prepared to make the change in preferred industry, one must move with the times after all.
I digress, as part of your side of the deal in achieving complete peace you will become my loyal, unswerving subjects, let's face it, it is not like you really have a choice.
These are your rights
Do as I say or I have you fed to my turbo sloths.
If you abide by these small but necessary restrictions I can promise you a world where terrorism does not exist.
It's okay, I am happy to do it. Your blind adulation is all the reward I need
regards
Vorgal the benevolent
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