It is I, Vorgal. You may have read the title and are thinking, Sins? Vorgal, great and hallowed be his name does not sin, he is above it, indeed he is excluded from it by virtue of his cute soft fluffy fur!
Alas dear reader, although I am both lemon yellow and fluffy I have been guilty of sin, guilty maybe of all of them at one stage in my epic life or another.
Greed. The desire for something that is more than you require? Of all sins it may be this one that called to me first.
Do I need another hundred thousand minions to do my every bidding? Do I need another monolithic statue erected in my glorious name?
Maybe not but think of the options if it were not so......
Unemployment is rife in todays society. Across this useless dust bowl of a planet people are unable to find work with which to occupy their time. They turn to crime, they turn to Jeebers, they turn to drugs and other unsavory things which may impede their already undeveloped brain function.
I give them purpose.
Why they other day I was talking to minion number ur88324989b.
Our delightful conversation went something like this.
"Minion what are you doing?"
"Please don't hurt me great Vorgal, I am but grime underneath your soft fuzzy foot."
"Bah, stop grovelling like that, report to your commanding Penguin and build me a monolithic statue by tomorrow!"
"Oh Yes oh mighty one, thank you for sparing me."
I know, you are surprised I did not immediately disintergrate him and his entire extended family but that is the truth of Vorgal. I am a generous creature.
Without my influence that minion could have got a job as an accountant or a lawyer. An overpaid know it all contributing to his own bank account above the good of all.
I have sinned and shown greed in my want of more statues and minions but at the end of the day, when I am sipping on a Pinacolada in the shade of the newest monolith I can rest assured knowing that I VORGAL!!!!!
made the world a little better.
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